If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
