I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong