I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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