NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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