I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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