this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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