I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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