I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Terrible idea I love it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
