matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
