Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
