No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
