I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
