I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
