Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
