ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
please don't ironically join a cult
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