Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
