We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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