I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you