My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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