I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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