EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize