apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
