Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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