Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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