she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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