dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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