yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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