Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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