so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
