I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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