I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
