So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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