I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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