would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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