Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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