Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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