I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
