hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
