how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
