Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
