After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
