woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
