i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize