Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
