8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
