found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
