Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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