Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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