i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
