Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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