Do vagina's smell?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize