I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
