You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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