If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize