quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
