I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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